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  • I need some work site references for a paper that I am writing, on the struggles of single parenting. PLEASE HELP! I need quotes from legitimate sources! THANKS.

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  • When one of my daughter’s was less than 2 weeks old an old friend of mine suggested that I needed to “train” her to go longer between feedings. She was basically suggesting that I let my helpless less than 2 week old baby cry if she woke up hungry before a certain amount of time has passed. Of course I threw that advice out the window.

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  • Divorce and split up was not very long ago was looked upon as a taboo in the society. Today it has become turned from a glitch into likelihood for most of the marriages. The ratio has not just doubled but as a matter of fact increased manifolds to an extent that it is one out of three families in USA that are headed by single parents.Couples which decide to split up usually have their own issues to consider but they overlook the interests of their off springs who are at a loss at this traumatic change in stance of their family life. For both boys and girls, it is very essential to have connection with both the parents as each has a role to play in their lives which finally lead to a fully developed personality without any negative personality traits. Most children are not able to express their distress and end up with having behavior problems that cannot be linked with the absence of a parent initially but psychological evaluation of such children always reveal the fact that all problems are related to the missing interaction with the other parent.Stress Indicators For Children With Newly Separated ParentsWhen a divorce takes place, usually the parents are too busy to notice any emotional change in a child who is being equally affected by this recent development. These are different for different age groups but the most common ones for all ages is “Depression” which they show in different ways such as:• Falling grades at school.• Lack of appetite.• Lack of interest in other activities like sports etc.• Increased bed wetting and nightmares in younger children.• Spending more time away from home in teens.• Aggressive behavior.• Undue quarrels between siblings• Sleep disorders.• Menstrual irregularities in teenage girls.Remedial MeasuresThe most important factor for a parent should always be the wellbeing of their children. The ideal would be that such a separation be avoided. But when this is not possible then a method should be adopted such that both the parents should continue to remain in contact with the children as a parent.In certain cases when this is not possible, parent who is in custody of the children has to do a bit more to reduce their children’s stress. Most importantly a child should never be blamed for the situation that led to the separation between the parents, nor should the absent parent be blamed unnecessarily for the event as it will be unfair for the other as he or she is not present to defend.In order to reduce the stress of your child you have to understand that you are not the only one who has gone through a traumatic situation alone, they have a greater loss as you may find another partner but that will not ever replace the biological parent who is most likely not going to reunite. You can reduce their stress by adopting a few simple remedies:• Spend more time and give extra affection to your children with frequent hugs and kisses.• Talk to them about the issues relatively to their age and make them understand it in the simplest way.• Give them a little extra attention and this will also help you through the initial phase.• Let the children be in contact with the other parent and exchange notes with your ex-spouse so that you both know how the children are feeling about it and how to cope with things in the longer run.

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  • What aspects of parenting are linked with the development of young children? What effect do you think that different parenting styles have on a childs development?

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  • Myself: My mom is completely against me breastfeeding. She thinks formula will keep the baby happier for longer. She was shocked that I told her my daughter will never have formula. She said that breasts are for our husbands and we don’t have to use them to feed our babies because we don’t live in a third world country.

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  • Need to come up w/ a parenting plan for the 3 kiddos. Father of the 2 & a child who has been w/ the man for 8yrs. I want some ideas please,for the best interest of the children.

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  • Specifically any books that deal with toddlers tantrums, pediatric health, practical parenting, child development and child rearing are what we are looking for.

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  • My two daughters always came first, even in those overwhelmingly fearful first days of my divorce. I was lucky to have cut through to the bottom line and raising them was my priority. It worked. They are both lovely, productive and successful young ladies today.

    How do you accomplish this ultra important task? One of the best ways is to listen to your kids with complete attention. Oh, I know, it was hard not to be off in la-la land with the boys playing poker and smoking cigars, but when my girls wanted my attention, they were my number one priority and they got my attention. When I wanted just ten minutes to watch the news without interruption, too bad. I had them; I got a divorce; they were my priority so they got my attention.

    When a soldier gets a medal like the Bronze Star, we applaud. Because you are called upon in so many brave ways as a single parents, you should get metal awards frequently. When you selflessly set aside your own desires, and you stop what you’d prefer to be doing to focus your complete attention on your child, it’s medal time! My kids were such a precious commodity, that the nurturing they needed (and sometimes it seemed to be a relentless, gaping maw) was a privilege to me to provide. I think that parenting is a sacred trust and should be dignified with your full attention. Stay-at-home moms and dads are the Executive Directors of the souls and minds of our nation’s incubators. They are the accomplishers of gargantuan tasks.

    Well, you might not have the privilege of staying at home. You might have to be out in the work place. That doesn’t mean your kids play second fiddle. Your kids come before anything you might want to do. They must come first, or the bruises of your inattention will show in society. When a plant suffers from inattention, it dies. If you can see how not being attentive can harm your kids, you can make a resolution to provide them with your undivided attention.

    My Virtual Assistant told me the story of how she accomplished attention with her sons. They got her complete attention up until the time when they went to bed for the night. After that, her time became only hers and the boys weren’t permitted to make any more demands unless they were sick. It took a while for the “Mommy, I want a drink of water” comments to stop because she just told them “I have given you my entire day. This is my time now.” It was good for her to set these boundaries.

    Children blossom just like plants that get full sun, plenty of food and water via your attention. They are worth all the effort it takes. Once your focus becomes “them,” your overwhelm, stress and fear from the divorce will all disappear.

    Len Stauffenger’s parents taught him life’s simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents,” his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
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  • I’ve got a great book for newborn to 9mths that provides practical advice on feeding, safety, health, development etc, but I need something for the next step.

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  • ‘Tis the time for New Year’s resolutions, our perennial effort to improve ourselves, correct our errant ways and remake ourselves in our own best image. If you are a parent struggling with separation or divorce, consider making your primary 2009 New Year’s Resolution a renewed commitment to your child’s emotional wellbeing. Do what it takes to improve the quality of your parenting relationship by bettering your communication and interaction with your ex. Resolve to love and support your children by treating your ex with courtesy and respect, and by continually striving to be the superior parent. Love your child more than you may dislike the other parent.

    When parents separate or divorce, everyone suffers; but children suffer most. The two people they love most in the world no longer love each other. It makes children anxious. They wonder if their parents will stop loving them. Separation and divorce tear apart a child’s world, but parents who put their children first can minimize the effects on their children. By approaching separation or divorce as a collaborative process that will lead to a better life for the entire family, parents can restore their children’s trust and happiness and reassure their children of both parents’ love.

    This New Year’s vow to put your children first and resolve to:

    1. Avoid playing the blame game. Don’t blame your ex for the divorce, for lack of money, or for the loss of your home or possessions. Your problems with your spouse are adult issues that shouldn’t be aired in front of the children. Don’t use the blame game to drive a wedge between your children and your spouse. Your children deserve the love of both parents.

    2. Respect your spouse. Children are not a bargaining chip. Do not use your children to put pressure your spouse. Your spouse is equally entitled to enjoy a close personal relationship with the children. Focus on what your children need, not on your own hurt. And remember that your spouse is hurting too. Try to see things from your spouse’s perspective.

    3. Respect your child. Never use your children to spy on your spouse or deliver messages. Any issues you have with your spouse are adult problems; deal with them yourself. Never threaten to deny your child access to the other parent as punishment. Your children deserve the unconditional love and support of both parents.

    4. Tell your child you love him. During separation or divorce, children need constant reassurance that you love them. If you become angry with your child, tell him you love him, then focus your comments on the undesirable action, not the child.

    5. Keep your promises. Divorce and separation shatter a child’s trust. Keeping your promises to your child slowly rebuilds the bond that lets your child know he can count on you.

    6. Focus on the future. Accept the life changes that separation or divorce bring and look upon it as an opportunity to create a better, happier life. Be realistic; don’t encourage reunion fantasies. Waiting for something that will never happen prevents your child from moving forward. As you embrace your new life, your children will be empowered by the positive changes they observe.

    Even if separated or divorced, you and your spouse will always share the goal of raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted children. Keep that goal firmly in mind as you embrace the New Year.

    Michael A. Mastracci is a collaborative family law attorney who practices law in the Baltimore, Maryland region. Mr. Mastracci graduated from the University of Baltimore Law School and was admitted to the Maryland State Bar in 1989. He began his legal career as a trial attorney handling personal injury and negligence cases. Through his own personal divorce experience he has become an advocate and practices collaborative law. Mr. Mastracci is the author of the soon to be released book “Stop Fighting Over the Kids”.
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  • I took my 7 month old to pedi yesterday for check up. All the sudden, pediatrician is giving me tips on being a good parent, how to wean my baby off of night nursing etc. None of this was necessarily asked for, and I was just wondering…since when did pediatricians become parenting experts? I know they are child experts, and I’m sure they, like anyone have their own opinions on how to raise a child, but is it their place to give parenting advice when not asked for?

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  • I have this great book “Baby Love” by Robin Barker that gives sensible advice on a variety of things including development, safety, health, food and recipes etc, however, it only goes until 9 months. Can someone suggest a good book for the next steps?

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  • In many of the articles that I’ve been writing for you, I’ve talked about the importance of having time for yourself. If you are currently going through a divorce or have recently divorced, you will discover that you’ll need to rely on friends and family more than you ever have before. During the early days of your divorce, having time for yourself can be pretty tricky, especially if you have kids. In this article, I’ve given you some practical pointers on simple ways to accomplish this very needed relaxation.

    ONE: Lean on your parents. I know it’s a bit embarasing burdening them with what you see as ‘only your’ problems, because you might have had some words with them because of the divorce. Whatever the case may be, they remain your parents just the same, and beneath words you might have experienced with them, they love you still. That will never change. They should be helping you through this tough time in your life. It isn’t that much to ask to have them baby sit for you a couple times a month so that you can catch a breather. I suspect if you discussed this with them, they’d agree with me.

    TWO: Lean on your ex in-laws. Yep, you heard me right. Your children will always be the grandchildren they adore even if they are unhappy with your for divorcing your ex. I have a friend who’s ex mother-in-law told her “You can divorce him, but you can’t divorce me. I want to experience my grandkids.” My advice is to use their help when you need to do every day tasks that would be just be easier and get done faster minus your kids, like grocery shopping or talking with your attorney. Just be straight and to the point. Tell them you could use their help.

    THREE: Lean on a good friend: Everyone has at least one, special someone that they can confide in. Who is that person that always has your best interest at heart? Who do you know that really cares for both you and your kids? Talk to them. They know your ex isn’t helping you, so you can ask them for some much-needed help. Most people love to help out and I’m sure they’d be flattered by your request if you don’t abuse the privilege.

    And finally, just take some time to put a plan in action. We all feel better when we have something to look forward to. If you can sit down with some of these important people and make up some sort of schedule, you and your kids will benefit greatly! As a result, you will have removed some of the painful pressure of being divorced, and you will have been instrumental in providing alone time for YOU.

    Len Stauffenger’s parents taught him life’s simple wisdom. As a divorced dad, he wanted to share that simple wisdom with his girls. “Getting Over It: Wisdom for Divorced Parents,” his book, is the solution. Len is an author, a Success Coach and an Attorney. http://www.wisdomfordivorcedparents.com
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  • Not to disgrace the grandparents, but some of their advice, while well meaning, is a little out of date. For instance both my mom, future MIL and future step MIL told me to give my baby chocolate milk since she didn’t want her formula…..they were only trying to help…but lord knows that is the worst thing I could do! LOL
    What’s the worst advice you have been given?
    Don’t be mean, it’s just a lighthearted question, not meant to be inflammatory.

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  • What benefits whould this have? I am writing a Thesis on getting a program started through the government requiring parents to have a parenting lecture or class during their hospital stay. Any comments are appreciated. Thanks!

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